Many disabilities DON'T have a wheelchair

There seems to be this very strange practice creeping into society at the moment. It is also very disturbing!

People with disabilities are coming back to their cars to find rude notes attached to the windscreen.
They have been parked in a disability spot, they have a disability permit to park there and yet people are taking it upon themselves to write nasty little notes.
These notes are stating the obvious....You are not in a wheelchair.....blahblah…..

I have a couple of issues here and I would like to address these people who feel it is their civic right to behave in this manner.

1. SURPRISE!!!!!!! The wheelchair in the image is ONLY to let you know it is a DISABILITY car park...it is NOT A WHEELCHAIR ONLY car park!!! Therefore if a person is NOT in a wheelchair, please don't assume there is nothing wrong with them.
2. If you are that concerned, why don't you actually approach and ask the person (politely) if they have a disability??? Yes, a novel idea, I know…What? TALK to them and have the issue cleared up? It is much more powerful to assume the worst and leave a message on some vulnerable persons windscreen.  This is just a type of bullying - dressed up as doing your civic duty. If it really bothers you - speak to the person.

People who have a disability that can't be seen clearly have a hard enough time trying to navigate this complex world we live in. Perhaps a little kindness would be a good replacement for this type of behaviour.

It is the same with public toilets. Miss Chloe has a disability, but can walk. I can't tell you how many people give her dagger looks when she goes to the disabled toilet...
They believe the wheelchair sign means it is ONLY for people in a wheelchair.

It seems there needs to be a big campaign around re-educating society as to the meaning of the disability logo.

COME ON big advertising companies, how about you do a huge community service and create a funky ad around this concept?

iDareU to help make our most vulnerable and ill count.

PLEASE REMEMBER NOT ALL DISABILITIES INVOLVE A WHEELCHAIR. SHOW COMPASSION AND EMPATHY INSTEAD OF CONDEMNATION AND JUDGEMENT!!!

Click here to find out more about iDareU
Click here to find out more about Sue Dymond

Let them Flap till they Soar

iDareU recently hosted a workshop to assist carers of loved ones with a disability to become 'naturally' involved in their local community. I decided to eliminate all the 'YEAH BUTS' and other excuses why this can't be done at the beginning of the session. There wasn't one valid reason for not being involved in the local community.

The most interesting thing that came out of the workshop was that 'we' (the carers) are the biggest obstacle to allowing our loved ones to become involved in the local community. It's amazing how often we think we need to protect our children from the 'big bad world' and inadvertently make them dependent upon us. We just KNOW if we allow them to become travel trained they WILL be bullied or worse….We KNOW if the train isn't running, no-one will help our loved one...This is so sad…It is just as likely that the OPPOSITE will happen.

Miss Chloe has been out on her own in the community for approximately six years now and not once has she been bullied or ignored. In fact, she will go up to a person, hand them the phone and tell them her mum wants to speak to them. They will let me know the situation and then watch out for her and make sure she gets to the right place. Many times she has asked school kids....zero times have they treated her badly.

Now I'm not saying that bad things don't happen in the community…But I AM saying:

NOTHING CAN BE WORSE FOR US OR OUR LOVED ONES THAN KEEPING THEM WRAPPED IN COTTON WOOL AND NOT ALLOWING THEM TO LIVE!

Life is all about taking risks. Risk taking is how we grow, become empowered and gain self-esteem. Please don't take this powerful gift away from your children because you fear they CAN'T.... Or because you believe they need protecting from EVERYTHING. Get the local community on board and create a safety net, allowing your loved one to take risks and learn to fly.

A mother bird will push her baby bird out of the nest when it's time for her baby to become independent. They have no idea they can fly until they awkwardly flap their wings about - heading for the dirt. But they keep trying and before they crash, they get the flying thing worked out and they soar.

Isn't it time to let your loved one flap around and learn to soar?

Click here to go to the iDareU website
Click here to go to connect to Sue Dymond's website

I'm a Loud & Proud Carer!!!

"It wasn't a conscious choice to become a carer of a child with a disability. It certainly wasn't on my list of 'to-dos when I grow-up', but it is the hand I was dealt."

We have a choice when we become carers, we can begrudge the lot we have been given  - or we can accept it and make the most of  the situation. Now I am not saying all carers have the same challenges, but I am saying we all have that choice.

From very early on, I consciously chose the latter. I made a decision to do whatever it took to ensure Chloes' life was a full, productive and empowered one. 

I have had many times I have though I made the wrong choice & that there has to be a better way. 

But when we come through that situation or she FINALLY gets what we have been practicing over & over & over,  
it is like euphoria!.



I used to feel I was less then everyone else, because my child was 'a burden'. Heaven knows we get it told to us often enough...so they MUST be a burden.

I also felt we had to apologize for being a huge cost on society & our children will never contribute in a positive way to society.

NOW I KNOW THAT IS THE BIGGEST LOAD OF POPPYCOCK I HAVE EVER HEARD!!!



Today, I stand tall, knowing I am doing one hell of a job in society. I feel blessed to be one of the minority to have experienced TRUE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. Yes, that is one of the gifts you receive from having a loved one with a disability!

I have also become a far more genuine person who is a lot less quick to judge people by their looks. From being a carer, I learn't to slow down and smell the roses.
I learn't from watching Chloe that I am no better or worse that the next person. She is amazing in so much as she firmly knows she is the same importance as the next person. Even meeting famous people don't faze her!!!

When you look at the stats of what carers actually SAVE this country in money, you would never again allow some silly public servant or service provider or professor to tell you how much you cost Australia.



Whenever anyone tells me I am lucky I live in Australia when I question why we have lost another service, I respond with telling them they are confused...THEY are very lucky I didn't leave her at the hospital at birth or that I don't relinquish her!!


In 2010 it was estimated that carers save taxpayers $40.9 billion annually (the cost of replacing carers providing informal care with paid care workers).
As carers assist people to remain living in the community for longer they also make substantial savings on premature admission to costly residential care or supported accommodation options. Carers also experience benefits from caring, particularly in terms of their relationship with the person being cared for. Caring can be a very positive, rewarding experience.   excerpt from Facts about Carers - NSW Carers Australia



 
 

So today, i stand tall, with my shoulder back and my chin up and I walk with purpose - because I AM A CARER AND I AM PROUD TO BE SO!!!

Now over to YOU!!!!

This blog is going to be a little different.

 
One of the big goals for iDareU is to have all carers and people with disabilities empowered and standing in their own light.   Yes Yes, I know...that's a big ask, I hear you say - but hey, we have to start small and dream big, I say.





So I am inviting anyone at all who has become empowered by being a carer or person with a disability and made a change to society or even just their own life, to share their story here. I am going to post a few I have been excited by, and then it is up to my readers to enlighten me with their inspirations. Here's are the first ones.

Downs Designs Dreams is a newly formed 501(c)3 Corporation.
Downs Designs® and NBZ® Jeans are now brand names.

“The Dream”

If you are wondering about our new name, it’s about MY dream.  It’s the vision I have had since I started Downs Designs®.  I want to share it with you. 

Since I began this journey almost five years ago, I’ve had a vision. I see a huge warehouse, with guys on tow motors, unloading trucks every day.  I see the shipping and receiving department busy packaging orders for shipment and putting away the latest truckload.  I hear the hum of sewing machines down the hall in the alteration room where our amazing seamstresses are busy hemming and ironing the latest orders that just came back from the try-on service.

I see Jillian and her team of designers working on next season’s sportswear line.
The phones in customer service are ringing off the hook and we just hired a new employee; her name is Janie and she has Down syndrome.  

Last week we brought in a new customer service rep (a proud veteran).  He lost a leg in Iraq, but he’s doing a great job communicating with our customers.  The accounting department is busy keeping up with all the paperwork and the break room is empty with just a few dirty cups sitting on the table.  

The Board Room is being prepared for tonight’s meeting and my calendar is full of speaking engagements bringing awareness around the community.

Children with disabilities in schools everywhere are sitting quietly in their seats when the bell rings.  They’re off to the bathroom where they proudly can pull their own pants down and no longer need help from their aid. 

Mary, who has Down syndrome, just got a compliment on her new dress from Downs Designs Dreams.  Bobby is eight years old and is autistic.  His mom just bought him some new NBZ®  Jeans and he loves how they feel.  He thinks he’s cool today and needed no help getting dressed before school.

Jimmy also has Down syndrome and just got a new job at McDonald’s.  He’s so excited about his new position, but when they told him he had to wear black pants every day, he wasn’t worried.  He  just  bought a new pair last month from Downs Designs Dreams and knew he would look his best on his first day on the job.

No more will kids or adults with disabilities feel out of place, uncomfortable or feel like they don’t fit in.  Downs Designs Dreams is providing quality, stylish clothing to enrich the lives of people with disabilities and help them live a more satisfying and happier life.

“In loving memory of my grandson, Brendan Koehler, who was born with Down syndrome.”
Karen Bowersox



And then there is this amazing young man Oliver Hellowell is a beautiful photographer who has just published a book with some of his nature images.

www.facebook.com/OliverHellowellPhotographer/

So those are two of my stories, now over to you, please leave them in comments field on this blog, and ill repost them.

iDareU - Inspiring people with Disabilities through Awareness, Resources, Empowerment and Unity




Till next time.

iDareU - Creating change for the better

 There is something very magical about Jan 1st.
For me and every person I have ever met, this magical date gives of a sense that something new and better, is just around the corner.

On New Years Eve, my favorite thing do to is to stay at home and reflect over my year just gone.

On New Years day, I like to  create goals & dreams for the following year. I gave up doing the New Years resolution thing years ago!


I can't count how many times I hear 

"bring on the next year - this has not been a good year."

  I wonder what happened to all that anticipation and hope that was there on Jan 1st......

In my life, I have found most years have had loss, sadness, joy, lessons, adventures, grief, fear.....almost every emotion I could think of...at one stage or another.

I have had some enormous challenges in my life. 

My mother leaving us when I was 14yo, 
getting pregnant at 18yo and not knowing what to do, 
losing many friends to car accidents before I turned 20yo, 
having a massive stroke at 43yo, 
having a disabled child at 30yo. 
Marrying and divorcing, 
losing my very best friend to asthma and last year, 
Having my Dad die and find out he not only left everything to his second wife, but had stolen many thousands from us over time.

I have also had many amazing things happen...

Keeping my baby when I was 18yo, 
Having a disabled child, 
Travelling around our amazing land and in recent times - overseas,
Spending 15+ years guiding the most amazing bunch of people from lost to found, 
Speaking in front of up to 1,000 people, 
going into my own business, 
And this year, creating a NFP charity from scratch.

Of course these only scratch the surface, but in my life I have found that every challenge offers me a choice. the choice to become bitter & sad or the choice to ask:

'What is the lesson from this'?

A lot of years ago, I learn't to choose the latter.  Every time I am in an ugly situation, I ask the Universe 'What is my lesson from this?' Now sometimes I have been known to look skywards and exclaim "Really?? surely I have learn't enough now, GIVE ME A BREAK!!"

But I know that I wouldn't be given the challenge if this was the case.

"The greatest lessons I have learn't throughout my life have all come from my greatest fears....having my girl with Down syndrome & having my stroke."

From both of these I have learn't to treat ALL people with dignity and respect, if I am going to complain, make sure I am willing to step up & make the change I am complaining about, my fears are not real - but going through them DO make me stronger.

Sooo, although I fully understand the 1st Jan is just a day, like the one before it, I still get that feeling of anticipation and hope.

2016 is the year we bring our baby of the past year into the light.
 
Our passion is to teach Carers & people with disabilities how to become empowered and how to step into their own light. And this passion has been realised in the form of our brand new Charity...

 Inspiring people with Disabilities through Awareness, 

Resources, Education, Resources & Unity.

Yes, I am scared, but I KNOW and feel in my bones that iDareU is the difference the world has been looking for and needs. EVERYONE DESERVES TO BE TREATED WITH DIGNITY AND RESPECT.....
especially our most vulnerable and those who care for them unselfishly.

Please visit: www.idareu.org.au and contribute to this marvelous charity...

TOGETHER WE  CAN MAKE THE CHANGES THAT NEED TO BE MADE

Wishing Everyone a very Merry Christmas

The thing I love most about Australia is our diversity.

 
I am certainly not an original Australian but I am the seventh generation. So my family settled here close to the beginning of European settlement.

I find it very sad that for whatever reason our world is going backwards when it comes to tolerance of other peoples differences.

It seems in recent times, in Australia, we are trying to become everything to everyone.

It started to creep in when councils decided not to put up Christmas decorations for fear of offending some-one and schools decided to stop singing Christmas carols for the same reason. I don't know about anyone else, but for me, I embrace other peoples beliefs (as long as they don't hurt anyone). It has never entered my head to be offended when in Buddhist countries to be offended by their customs, or in Utah where Mormons are a majority. I love listening to the call to prayers in Muslim countries, yet I am not a follower of any of these.

"I AM a follower of respecting everyone's right to have whatever beliefs they desire and to embrace their love of their culture. I actually think I am a pretty mainstream thinker with this attitude - yes, I tend to see the good in people as a whole."

So if most people embrace the cultural practices WHY does Australian people in high places and people-pleasers think it is a good idea to abandon or alter the time honoured practices of this nation??

There is a saying around the ridges:

If you try to please everyone ALL the time,
You end up pleasing NO-ONE

So lets get rid of the political guilt and just celebrate Christmas, Easter and any other Christian celebration we choose.

But more importantly, let us all begin TODAY to view each & every one of us as people first and lose the intolerance. IMAGINE what type of world we would have if everyone learnt' a little about all our differences. We would get to know to person & ally many of our fears & distrust. WHAT A GIFT!!!

Let me leave you with this message.

LET IT BEGIN WITH ME - do for others what you would like done to you.
What a wonderful world it would be!

iDareU - Dreams CAN become reality

Inspiring people with Disabilities through Awareness, Resources, Empowerment and Unity.

I had a dream to give people who have a child with a disability or have a disability

empowerment, dignity and inspiration.

For whatever reason, these are some of the things that are taken from us when we find ourselves in one or the other (or both ) of the above situations.
 
As a parent of one such person, I was (and still am) amazed by the way we are often disregarded and undervalued by the very people who are meant to be helping us.

I am not one to be put into a little box and told to conform. And this has been a blessing to our family. I have found if you can find the effort to dig past the initial resistance to get the services/opportunities you require, the organisations will bend to your needs.

I am a person with a lot of passion and energy. Because of this, I want to help those less able to be shown how to 'Step into their own Light' and become empowered.

So, after writing a book about raising Miss Chloe, I took it upon myself to setup a charity.

Today all the steep learning of creating a charity and with an amazingly talented board to support my dream it became a reality.

One day, people with disabilities and their loved ones will stand tall and not need to beg or apologise for wanting a good life...a life they deserve.


Please check out the BRAND NEW www.idareu.org.au website and get onboard.

Being a part of the Community

RESEARCH SHOWS THAT 30% OF PEOPLE 

DON'T TRUST THEIR NEIGHBORS.

Now the fact is, 30% of the population are NOT untrustworthy 
its just that we don't know who our neighbors are so we feel we can't trust them!!!!

I don't know if it is because I come from the Aussie bush where houses are few and far between and kangaroos are a plenty, but I am very much into creating my own village of support.

Growing up, we had to make an effort to have any type of social life. The nearest community hall was 20 kms away and the nearest town was 80 kms away, so when we socialised, we made sure it was worth it!

I also learn't that when there is not much choice with whom you can socialise with, you adaptd to what there is, and become more tolerant of others and their differences.

Being so isolated, we needed to lean on each other in times of crisis or illness or hardship.
This was very strong in times of droughts. We were all in the same predicament and we needed to really work with each other for the sake of keeping our community strong.


It is very easy at times of hardship, illness, tragedy or disability to isolate and get it in our heads that this is OUR lot in life and we can't burden anyone else. We just have to put our heads down and get on with what we have been dealt.

Now whilst I agree, we can only work with what we have been dealt, I have learn't there are 2 ways to achieve this: 1) the very hard way 2) the less hard way.

Yes, I am not going to say there is an easy way because many a time that is not really an option BUT we can do it much easier when we become a part of a community that looks out for us.

From when I first moved into our nearest town and then onto the very big smoke (Melbourne), I have always made the effort to not just introduce myself to ALL my neighbours, but to develop a relationship with them. I have very been in the same social circles, but have always stopped for a chat, given them Chrissy cards, invited them to BBQs...you get the picture.

I am so grateful this was the norm for me when I had Chloe. I was sooo overwhelmed with everything in those first months, I didn't have an ounce left to give to making new connections. It didn't matter because the connections were already in place and I was supported in my local environments.

We have moved twice since then and each time, I have made it a point to get to know ALL my neighbours, shop locally and involve ourselves in our local environment with our recreation.

This has produced the most amazing results for us. Chloe has become an entrenched part of this environment and they all just see Chloe NOT "Chloe - the disabled one".

AND I have received bucket loads of free support from people and businesses who care about us as people. I know this isn't just luck, as both moves have been into very different areas, with one of them living on a very busy main road.

It works, because  I make it work and although there is a bit of extra effort in the beginning, once everything is in place, the rewards are substantial!!!

iDareU will be having workshops starting in Feb in Melbourne to teach people how to create their own villages and maintain them. If you are interested in making your lives more enjoyable and getting the added benefit of free support, come along and learn how!!

 

Visit idareu.org.au or phone our hotline on 0468854186

to find out how you can get onboard.

A mindshift to create a Solution

 I recently presented at the 50th ASID (Australasian Society of Intellectual Disability).

What a wonderful event is was, held in sunnyish Melbourne, Australia. There were many interesting speakers and the common theme was 'SELF-ADVOCACY' & "CHANGING MINDSETS"

I sat in the room and listened to the 2 speakers before me. Before sittng down, I was a little anxious BUT once the first speaker opened up, I started to relax.

Her talked completely complimented what I was presenting on.

Never accept less than excellence for our loved ones with a disability and, more importantly NEVER GIVE UP!!!

Then the second  was a researcher and spoke about
results of some workshops around teaching carers and families empowerment and ways to get unpaid support!

Well, I started to think these guys had been looking over my shoulder as we compiled my presentation, so many common thoughts an ideas!

I spoke about iDareU and how we are going to give families tools to find their voice and to dare to dream for them and their loved ones.

Carers and service providers need to start changing the way they dance with each other.

It is a very sad truth to say, the Disability field is based on scarcity, distrust and fear.

This starts at the top and bleeds into every crevice of disability....no wonder by the time the front-line workers come face-to-face with their clients, they have become the Keepers of the funds and clutch tightly to the key that unlocks a clients 'GOOD LIFE',

Ensuring these pesky GIMME GIMME GIMMERs' act according to the Keepers demands to receive...maybe not what they want....but something they MAY be able to use!

"I spoke about how for very little money, service providers and clients need to see each other in a positive light."

Service providers need to be responding to a client with 
" I will need to go do some homework & get back to you.....

instead to the automatic NO or Can't or I don't think we can..."

I, for one, can accept something can't be done, if I am shown why it can't be done
just telling me no never cuts it for me!!!

More than once or twice in our lives, we have worked with a 'CAN'T KEEPER' and had them go away and do some exploring and thinking outside the box.

ON EVERY OCCASION, SAID KEEPER HAS COME BACK WITH A SMILE ON HER FACE AND A SOLUTION!!!!

Carers, on the other-hand, need to not accept the initial negative response and learn to dig for the 'YES'. They also need to work WITH the Keeper to achieve the positive end result, not expect the keeper to do all the work.

Learning to respect each other and trust each other will build amazing rapport. Once we have these foundations in place - even if we don't get more money, we will have more pleasant lives, as we won't have to waste so much energy in negative space and everyone in the disability field will have a common respect & trust.

"Creating a mindshift from
SCARCITY TO ABUNDANCE,
allows good things to happen"

Soooo, let me finish the same way I did at ASID.....

iDareU to shift your mindset and get onboard the IDareU train of doing  DISABILITY DIFFERENTLY!!!!!!

www.suedymond.com

A story of love.

So, the first Tuesday in November has come and the Race that stops a Nation (The Aussie nation) has been run & won.  I LOVE this day...I come from horse-racing stock, so I must confess, I love the races, thought I only take notice on that ONE DAY IN NOVEMBER these days. I LOVE the glam and the glitz associated with the day and I LOVE there is,

"more often than not a great story attached to the winner of the Great Race"

This year was no different, with the first woman jockey winning and her brother who has Down syndrome being her strapper. 

The thing I LOVED most about this story is the very obvious bond and love they have for each other, this and his sis clearly have an amazing love and respect for each other and I LOVED that Michelle Payne just treated Stevie as her brother...not her brother with Ds.

It is something very special to observe the deep, deep love between siblings and I have found that when one has a disability, that connection seems to be even stronger in most cases.

It is also very special because the sibs don't see the disability, they just see the person and accept them as they are, lock, stock & barrel!!!

 AND I LOVE that Stevie just took the whole amazing experience (it's not every day some-one is responsible for the winner of the Melbourne Cup) in his stride...though the grin on his face at the end of the race was worth bottling!!!

This is one example of people with Down syndrome being able to achieve their dreams and be a very important and valuable contributor to society.

There has been much ado about Stevie having Ds, and he is a bit of a superstar at the moment (and so he should be), but I see people with Ds, achieving their dreams regularly. 

 

We have the young model who has taken the internet by storm.

We have the young lad who is an famous photographer.

There are people everywhere just doing what regular people do, working, playing...Just doing what regular people do...when given a chance.

For many years, I was a mentor to teens who had a rough start in life and I LOVED watching them fly when they were given some space, faith & opportunities. It is the same with people with disabilities, given a chance, they will achieve and reach their dreams.

AND THAT FOR ME IS A TRUE LOVE STORY!!

www.suedymond.com

The Routine Setter

No, not a breed of dog,
it is a trait many people who have
intellectual disabilities have.

I remember when Miss Chloe was born, all the nurses said: 



 

"Oh, these children LOOOVVE routine, they thrive on it". 






I was terrified, as routine was not something I aspired to, being a bit of a free spirit.
When I mentioned this to one of the nurses. she commented that
"No routine will be Chloes' routine".


At the risk of sounding controversial (again), I need to say: "
I believe advising frightened new parents of a baby with a disability to create good strong routines, so your baby can thrive", is not a responsible action!

Yes, they may thrive and get VERY comfortable in these set routines BUT what happens when the inevitable happens and that routine needs to be changed for whatever reason.

You can only get a specialist appointment at the same time as Jane's morning tea. Good luck in getting Jane to that appointment without a fuss!!

Because the world can be a very overwhelming place for many people with disabilities, they like to create 'safe havens'. Now there is nothing wrong with these 'Safe Havens', as long as they don't live in them. They need to venture out into the unknown and stretch themselves and get more competent in living a whole life, then retreat into the Safe Haven for refresh time and to gather their straighten.

A few easy ways of not creating set routines
is to mix up times for bathing, eating,
shopping etc.

When asked by your loved one:'Whats for dinner", at breakfast time, reply with:
"You will find out tonight".

I have taught Chloe to trust me when we are on holidays. This was a conscious and challenging  process but the rewards have been endless...
culminating in road trips in foreign countries.

www.suedymond.com

 

For the full story of how I achieved this, read my book:

REMOVING THE FEAR OF RAISING A CHILD WITH DOWN SYNDROME - WAISING MISS CHLOE.

I noticed with Chloe that she would try to enforce her own routines and if I wasn't alert with her, I would find myself automatically going along with them.

I don't know about anyone else, but I have had to become very awake in my journey as the parent of a child with special needs!!!

I have learnt the things our loved ones can learn are endless, BUT we have to teach them AND we can't unteach them.

BE VERY CAREFUL NOT TO TEACH THEM ROUTINES THAT WILL IMPRISON YOU ALL IN LATER YEARS.

suedymond.com