The Routine Setter

No, not a breed of dog,
it is a trait many people who have
intellectual disabilities have.

I remember when Miss Chloe was born, all the nurses said: 



 

"Oh, these children LOOOVVE routine, they thrive on it". 






I was terrified, as routine was not something I aspired to, being a bit of a free spirit.
When I mentioned this to one of the nurses. she commented that
"No routine will be Chloes' routine".


At the risk of sounding controversial (again), I need to say: "
I believe advising frightened new parents of a baby with a disability to create good strong routines, so your baby can thrive", is not a responsible action!

Yes, they may thrive and get VERY comfortable in these set routines BUT what happens when the inevitable happens and that routine needs to be changed for whatever reason.

You can only get a specialist appointment at the same time as Jane's morning tea. Good luck in getting Jane to that appointment without a fuss!!

Because the world can be a very overwhelming place for many people with disabilities, they like to create 'safe havens'. Now there is nothing wrong with these 'Safe Havens', as long as they don't live in them. They need to venture out into the unknown and stretch themselves and get more competent in living a whole life, then retreat into the Safe Haven for refresh time and to gather their straighten.

A few easy ways of not creating set routines
is to mix up times for bathing, eating,
shopping etc.

When asked by your loved one:'Whats for dinner", at breakfast time, reply with:
"You will find out tonight".

I have taught Chloe to trust me when we are on holidays. This was a conscious and challenging  process but the rewards have been endless...
culminating in road trips in foreign countries.

www.suedymond.com

 

For the full story of how I achieved this, read my book:

REMOVING THE FEAR OF RAISING A CHILD WITH DOWN SYNDROME - WAISING MISS CHLOE.

I noticed with Chloe that she would try to enforce her own routines and if I wasn't alert with her, I would find myself automatically going along with them.

I don't know about anyone else, but I have had to become very awake in my journey as the parent of a child with special needs!!!

I have learnt the things our loved ones can learn are endless, BUT we have to teach them AND we can't unteach them.

BE VERY CAREFUL NOT TO TEACH THEM ROUTINES THAT WILL IMPRISON YOU ALL IN LATER YEARS.

suedymond.com